Chasing the perfect body shape

One of the things that has helped me most on my weight-loss journey might sound a little surprising: I’ve never been chasing a particular body shape or clothing size.

For many people, weight loss is framed around reaching a certain look — fitting into a particular dress size, having a flat stomach, or achieving a body that resembles the images we see in magazines or on social media. But that was never really my goal.

My focus has always been much simpler: to be as healthy as I can be within the physical limitations I live with.

Because of my disability, my body was never going to look like the so-called “ideal” body that often gets presented as the standard. I use a wheelchair outside the house and my mobility is limited. There are exercises I will never be able to do, and certain physical changes that simply aren’t realistic. Once I accepted that, something quite powerful happened — I stopped trying to force my body to become something it wasn’t meant to be.

Instead, I began to work with it.

For me, that has meant focusing on health, strength where possible, and maintaining a weight that supports my overall wellbeing. Over the years I’ve learned to make small, sustainable changes — adjusting portion sizes, being mindful about calories, cooking most of my meals at home, and paying attention to how different foods make me feel.

The result hasn’t been dramatic or fast. In fact, it’s been the opposite: slow, steady and sustainable.

Back in 2012 I weighed 14 stone. Over two and a half years I lost four and a half stone through calorie counting and gradually changing my habits. Over the years since then, I’ve lost a little more and now maintain around 8 stone 9 pounds. It has taken more than a decade to reach this point, which probably tells you everything you need to know about my approach.

There have been no crash diets. No punishment. No hatred of my body.

Quite the opposite, in fact.

I’ve always tried to treat my body with a degree of respect and appreciation. After all, this body has carried me through life, adapted to disability, allowed me to travel, work, raise a daughter, build friendships and care for family. It may not be perfect, but it has done an extraordinary amount for me.

Part of that mindset goes right back to my childhood. My mum always encouraged me to accept myself exactly as I was and never to live in fear of other people staring at me. She was very clear about that. People might look — sometimes out of curiosity, sometimes simply because something is different — but that should never stop me from living my life fully.

That message stayed with me as I grew up. I was never short of confidence; in fact, I was probably over-confident.  That sense of confidence and self-acceptance has been incredibly valuable as an adult. Rather than worrying about how my body compares to anyone else’s, I’ve learned to focus on what it allows me to do and how I can look after it.

When you approach weight loss from that perspective — from appreciation rather than criticism — the whole experience feels different.

You’re not trying to “fix” yourself. You’re simply trying to look after yourself.

And I think that mindset makes a huge difference. When you’re not chasing a particular appearance, there’s less pressure and less disappointment. Progress becomes about how you feel: your energy levels, your health markers, your mobility, your ability to live the life you want.

For me, that has been the real goal all along.

I’m not trying to look like anyone else. I’m not trying to fit a particular mould. I’m simply aiming to be the healthiest version of myself that I can be.

And in many ways, that feels far more empowering than chasing an ideal that was never realistic in the first place.